American actor, Paul Walker, lived life to extremes. He worked hard, played hard, and died tragically in a car accident. Everyone close to him was rightfully devastated. It has been 2 years since the young actor passed away, but it seems that fellow actress and friend, Michelle Rodriguez, still cannot come to terms with his death. The Fast and Furious actress continues to struggle with making sense of the tragedy.
In a new documentary, titled The Reality of Truth, Rodriguez opened up about losing her friend. “I have to say, you know, when I lost Paul, I went through about a year of just being an animal,” she said. “Like, what could I do, physically, to just get my mind off of existentialism? Get my mind off of how transient life is and how we come here and can just disappear at any moment. How could I get my mind off that? I did everything I could possibly do to hide from myself and I’ll tell you that my ayahuasca trip made me sad that he left me here,” she recollected. “It wasn’t a sadness that he’s gone, it’s more like a jealousy that he’s there first.”
After Paul’s death, the actress professed, “I actually went on a bit of a binge,” she recalled. “I went pretty crazy. A lot of the stuff I did last year I would never do had I been in my right mind.”
“I could see Paul once every two years and just know there was another human on the planet who’s deep like me, who loves like that,” she went on. “When that disappears, you wonder, ‘Wait a minute, what do I hold on to?’ There was nothing to tether me to this existence: ‘Why am I f—king here? And, like, why’d you leave without me?’”